im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
