Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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