Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
