You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
