We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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