I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize