I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just want to make out with him forever
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
