So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
