Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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