P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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