everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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