Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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