Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Pants are for mortals
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
