those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
