im having a threesome with these popsicles
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
and you fell through a lawn chair
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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