I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
