the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
