South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
