It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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