I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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