You can't special order awesome
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
