im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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