no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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