It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
