I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
