i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize