so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I love you.
Bad choice
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
