just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
