i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
