I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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