I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
