You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
