Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
