They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize