1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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