i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
