guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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