I heard we made out
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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