So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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