Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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