last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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