Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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