I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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