i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So squirting runs in the family.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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