.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
