barbara walters just said penis...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you win again, gameday.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
