we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
