Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
