I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
