Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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