I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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