Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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