New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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