He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
