You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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