In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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