I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
