I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
