oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
