If you die in college, do you die in real life?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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