I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it was like his penis was on wheels.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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