if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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