Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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