dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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