i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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